The week of Thanksgiving...

Early in the week, I had a pretty rough time with being nauseous. We had an appointment with a natural doctor (whatever their title is?) at Mayo this past week. They almost didn't allow us to have our appointment because we were late. The reason we were late was I was down stairs in the bathroom for 20 minutes getting sick. I was going to get very upset if we drove one hour to see this guy, then getting sick in the public restroom and not being able to see the doctor. However, the doctor was running late himself and allowed us to still see him. He really gave us good ideas for a well balance diet...something I know nothing about. I was sad to learn I can only have red meat once a month. For all who know my family...we are meat and potato type of people. Fish is a huge part of our new diet...we like fish too so that won't be too difficult. If we really stayed on top of this diet, I shouldn't have to supplement my body with any other supplements. That would be nice. The two days before Thanksgiving day, I was nauseous and I did get sick twice. However, I feel so blessed to only have the minor symptoms I've had. b I prayed that it would be gone and Thanksgiving day and weekend I would be great. Again, the Lord answered my prayers.

Thanksgiving Day was awesome! Most of my family was there. We did miss Kandus who was with friends in Texas. My brother and Cher didn't make it either but they were coming up to the cabin. I was able to eat whatever I wanted and did great. Samantha and Scott came to spend the day with us as well. After being really stuffed and needing to take a nap...Audrea, Kathy, Karrie, Sammy, my mom and I all started on my 400+ person thank you list. It took a while but I think we got the first round completed. Thank you ladies for your help.

Friday was travel day to the cabin. I had a really difficult time sleeping Thursday night so getting up and moving Friday morning was a challenge for me...but we finally made it on the road. It was quite emotional having to go on this family trip without my husband. I guess someone has to stay home and work. I had an emotional moment when we arrived but got over it pretty quickly. The cabin was amazing. It was everything I thought a cabin should be and then some. Friday evening, Kirby made awesome spaghetti. We all got stuffed and lounged by the fireplace. Saturday morning we all woke up and had a great breakfast. I love the men of my family...they all cook. As the men worked in the kitchen, we ladies got the kids and ourselves fed. We then got ready and most of us went fishing. It was so cold. We hiked a bit back to this area where the boys like fishing. It was pretty far but I did very well. It felt so good to be out in the woods with snow on the ground and hiking around. Not only was it cold but the wind as awful and we were on the shady side of the lake. We were wrapped up like Eskimo's. Kiki and Dylan both got help from Uncle Mitch and caught fish. Kiki was such a trooper. She was the only girl that wanted to keep fishing. The only thing was I had to explain to her that we could not bring the fishy home and put it in a glass fish bowl. We eat the fish we catch. She was so upset and wanted no one to eat her fishy. lol After a while most of us were so cold we had to take one of the vehicles and get back to the cabin. Dylan stayed with all the big boys and all the little girls went back with Aunt Karrie, Uncle Mike and I. After everyone grilled their dinner we played a game called Left, Right, Center. The kids were all watching and wanted to play. We all laughed so hard when I lost my money and Dylan said "Can anyone give my mommy some money...She has colon cancer". We couldn't stop laughing. It was so innocent and funny. The kids caught on so quick we let them play. Kiki won the first time and Kayla won the second game. They were all so cute. Kristen then went outside and made a fire in the pit so we could roast marshmallows and make smores. The kids loved it. It was so cold out there that the marshmallows couldn't even make the chocolate warm up at all. But we all enjoyed ourselves. Then off to bed. Today was a day of packing and cleaning. When we were all done and trucks loaded we just sat in the living room and talked about wanting to unpack and stay longer. It was such a great weekend. Hopefully we can make it an annual family trip. I would also love to take my husband and kids back.
We are now home and ready for the reality of school again tomorrow. I'm looking forward to a great week before round 4 starts on Friday.

Cabin Pictures....

Happy (Early) Thanksgiving!!!

Hey Guys! Katie and I just wanted to tell you to have a wonderful Thankgiving with the family at the Cabin. We're sure you will have a great time relaxing and enjoying each other's company over the next few days.

Katie and I are heading north to Iowa tomorrow morning to spend Thanksgiving with her side of the family. The Eggers/Heil family is amazing (just like the Miller's, of course!) and those that have already heard your story are truly inspired by your strong will and positive attitude. We will make sure to pray for you and keep you in our thoughts throughout this holiday weekend.

Again, have a great time over Thanksgiving and know that even though we're 1,500 miles away, we're with you in spirit!

"Without faith, nothing is possible. With it, nothing is impossible."

Love,
Garrett, Katie and the rest of the crew from Kansas

Marathon Entries are gone

Thanks to Michelle Birtcher and Kathy Rampy who purchased the marathon entries!

Rock 'N' Roll Marathon

We had a last minute donation for the silent auction that was not available on Saturday. My friend, Kristi, is donating 2 entries to the Rock 'N' Roll Marathon in Phoenix on Sunday, January 18th. 100% of the proceeds will go to the Kim Miller Benefit Fund. The entries must be used up by November 30th! The regular price is $100 for the half and $115 for the full marathon. We are offering each entry for $75. Thanks!

I can't thank you all enough...

Starting off with Saturday, the day of the Bowl A Thon. When Kristen and I were getting ready to leave, of course the kids started arguing in the back seat. I was hoping that when we got there, they would both chill out and have fun...sure enough they did. When we pulled in the parking lot it was packed. I couldn't believe that there was not much room for parking at 11:30. I was greeted by some of the great Phx. Fire Dept. guys that were helping out. They then showed me the 4 ft. banner that hung above the entrance with my single photo and family photo on it...Thank you Audrey, it was beautiful. When I entered the bowling alley I was then greeted by the amazing team that volunteered their day to benefit my family. As I continued in to actually see the bowling alley, I was brought to tears by the amount of people that were already there bowling, eating, signing up for the silent auction items. My aunts took me to the back so I could have my moment. I am still blown away at everyone I saw...a lot of you I know...and so many of you I did not know. I had people coming up to me that saw my story in the newspaper, had no clue who I was before, giving me cards with wonderful thoughts, prayers, and donations. I could never thank you all enough for all the hard work put in to this event and the tremendous turn out. We have been praying for a financial blessing to help us through these times...well, our wonderful Lord has answered that prayer. He had all of you show up to support us. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We had a blast as well. Dylan and Kyrstin had the time of their life bowling for the first time. I bowled a bit but with my left hand as my chemo was hooked into my right chest area. Thank goodness they had the bumpers up for me too.
Today, Sunday, I went with my mom and Vinny to his church, The Light House, at 83rd. Ave just north of Thunderbird. This service was unlike anything I've ever experience. It was amazing. The music was so uplifting, the Pastor's were incredible. Vinny had seats for my mom and I right up front. The head Pastor called me up to the front and he and a few others laid their hands upon my head and prayed for my healing. Hearing everyone praying, thanking our gracious Lord, agreeing with our prayers of healing brought me to tears. It was so powerful being in the presence of such amazing people, feeling their positive energy, feeling the presence of our Lord. It's hard to express all my feelings. One of many things that I came away with from today's service was how when things in our life seem to be going good...we are in a routine...we sometimes forget the most important part in life...our Lord. Having him first in our lives, he will make sure we have everything we need. I truly believe this and I am guilty of that exact thing...until now. This meant so much to me...Thank you Vinny! We are hoping to come back next Sunday with the kids. I also had the pleasure of meeting a few people that were healed from terminal cancer and I just felt like I was supposed to be there.
Tonight has been a bit tougher. My stomach got upset and I did get sick this time. However, round 3 complete and only getting sick once...I'll take that.
I'm so thankful to have you all in my life and going through this experience with me. We will do this! I will WIN!!!!!
Much love,

Kim

Chemo Queen :)

I am pleased to say Kim takes her chemo like a champ! I looked like the patient at her chemo appointment, I demand all the saltine crackers, juice and sprite. I tell Kim to move on over so that I can lay in her bed with her (cause Im exhausted) and the hospital gives free beanies away (I have 3 now) We get back from Kims appointment and I lay on the couch with my feet up while Kim starts a bath for me and gathers me more saltine crackers!

:) Only half of that is true, especially the part about Kim being a champ! Love you Kim! Hope that made you laugh!

Pictures from the Bowling Fundraiser

Thanks to everyone that came out for the Bowling Fundraiser. Sorry that it was hectic at times. Thanks so much to all that volunteered and donated items for the silent auction.

Hope everyone enjoys the pictures! If you have any that you would like me to add to the slide show, please email them to me at kandusm34@hotmail.com.

Aunt Kathy Here With The Results Of The Bowling Fundraiser....

I am happy to report that the Bowling Fundraiser was a HUGE SUCCESS!! We had over 200 Bowlers and 105 fabulous Auction Items. Everyone enjoyed themselves and we couldn't be happier with the outcome. We don't have a final total yet, but it is looking like we raised a large amount which will go to Kim and Deron to assist them with medical expenses. I can't thank everyone enough for providing auction items, volunteering at the event and also for all the cash donations.

A special thanks goes out to our tremendous Fund Raising Committee which includes: Samantha Wetherbee, Karrie Jessen, Kristin Milstead, Cher Gwaltney, Jen Howland, Callie Fish, Nan Gwaltney, Paula Loveloy, Sarah Kent, Sherry Miller, Audrey Wallshire and Kandus Mayberry. I have to say that this committee is one of the best I have ever worked with, we had so much fun and produced incredible results in a very short period of time. We are have are next meeting in a few weeks to get to work on the Valentine/Sweetheart Dance on Feb. 13th.

I just spoke to Kandus and she will be placing photo's on the blog soon for everyone to enjoy!!

Kim, we love you soooooo much and are soooooo happy we could do this for you......hopefully, with this money in the bank, you can take the financial worry brick off your shoulder for now and focus all your time and attention or getting well!!!!

Love Ya,
Aunt Kathy

Round 3 of Chemo has begun

Last night was a good night as Deron and I opened up with each other with our struggles. He is very overwhelmed with his soul mate having the battle of her life and he can do nothing about it, maintaining his career, our household, etc. He has so much more on his plate right now including all new emotional stresses that he is not used to dealing with. We cope with our stresses and daily battles so differently. I'm one that become needy. I just want him around me to hold me, take me on errands, what ever it may be...I just want to be there with him. Deron on the other hand being dealt so much needs to get away some times just for a bit to clear his mind. It's hard for me not to take it personal. We are actually going to get with a counselor who knows how to help families cope with the stresses of cancer, marriage and young children. We are both excited to learn how to cope together as one instead of two.



We did get some really good new today at our doctor's appointment before chemo started. My CEA counts are measured before each chemo treatment which is a cancer marker. When we first started my CEA counts were 19.1, which is really high. As of today my CEA count is down to 8.5 which is AWESOME!!! That tells them (without doing scans right now) that my body is responding to treatment very well. Also, we had a pet scan done almost two weeks ago as a base line to measure against for further treatments. I did not want to know the results unless things were drastically different from the other scans we previously had done. However, Deron wanted the results. The one thing our doctor did share with me before I left the room was that my spots in the lungs did NOT show up bright like they should have had it been highly active cancer. This does not confirm that my lungs are clear but it is a good sign. It could also be scar tissue showing up in my lungs from maybe having Cocci at some point in my life. Regardless...my chemo treatment would NOT be changed. We will continue has planned. All your prayers and positive energy is working!!! Keep it coming! I still play Pac Man in my head a few times a day. Not sure if I shared my Pac Man game with you all or not. A few times a day I do my relaxation and let Pac Man go. He starts in my right lung and clears all sick cells away until it's clean, then moves to my left lung. After that, he moves to my liver and completely clears my liver. When he' s done there, he moves down into the colon area and clears out the colon. When Pac Man is done...my body is cancer free. This is just another one of my positive mental things I do with myself. Whatever works...right??

We changed my chemo just a bit on what drugs come first. We asked for the high dose of benadryl to be given first with it's drug so I would sleep most of the time while I was there vs. being so doped up at the end and sleeping the way home and when I get home. It worked. I'm doing really good today. I'm still very drowsy but it's almost bedtime. My cousin Kristen came to Chemo today and brought me home so Deron could get some sleep before working all night tonight. Kristen is staying with me tonight so I don't have to be alone while my mom and dad have the kids. They were very rowdy when I got home. All I did was look up at my mom and she knew I could not handle the rowdiness right then. I love my family. They are so great.



Tomorrow is going to be an exciting day at the Bowl-A-Thon. I'm so excited to see everyone there having fun. I'll see you all around 11ish. Thank you to everyone for your continued support.



Much love,



Kim

Lots of new stuff

I just posted an awesome picture from the Guns N Hoses football game. Be sure to look for it below in Kim's blog that she posted a few days ago.

Also, Johnny Rockets will be having a fundraiser for Kim on Sunday, December 7th from 11-5 at the Happy Valley location. 20% of all sales will go to the Kim Miller Benefit fund. Thanks to Cher and her friend Karey, the manager of the store, for organizing this.


Also, I have updated Kim's diet so please check that out. She cannot have spicy or high sugar food. Kim is actually going to be going to a diet specialist soon to see what she can do to eat better.

I am so excited for the fundraiser on Saturday. I fly into Phoenix tonight. Can't wait to see the fam and to meet everyone that has been putting so much effort into this cause. We are so thankful for the support.

Kim, keep fighting!!!! You have been an inspiration to so many. Love you!!!

Another few days have passed!

I thought I'd get on and update you all on the past few days. Not much has happened....except the hair continues to come out. It's thinning rapidly but evenly so far. Weird thing is...my hair is starting to hurt sometimes...hmmm?
Sunday was a recovery day. I didn't get out of bed until 12 noon from our late night with friends...it took me back to my teenage days over the summer. We went to a birthday party for one of Kiki's classmate...it was the Madagascar movie. Most of her kindergarten class was there. It was nice to be out with all four of us. I text Deron in the movie saying how great it feels to be out an about living life instead of being trapped in my house with the constant reminder of why I'm home and not working or doing things with the kids.
I have to tell you about what I did on Saturday soon after we got home from the Colon Cancer walk...I still laugh about it. Most people get irritated by the Saturday Jehovah Witness people that come door to door on Saturdays. I've never met this gentleman named Mike who has come to my home quite a few times before because I've always been at work. Deron has always talked with him and allowed him to read scriptures from the bible. Well, he happened to come to the house, Deron talked with him like normal, then he was going to leave. When Deron came back to our room where I was napping, I asked him who was at the door. I got up and ran to the front door, waved them down and asked them if they would please say a prayer with me. So there we stood in the middle of the street praying. I loved it. He even had his wife come back to see me yesterday (Monday). I woke up by door bell ringing, through my rope around me and it was his wife and her friend at my home to see me as promised. There we sat on my sofa, me in my robe, and us praying and reading the bible. The things I'm doing now just to have prayer around me is unlike anything I've ever done before. But, you know, it feels so good. They are even coming to see me this Thursday for more prayers. I can't wait!
Today, Deron and I drove up to Flagstaff to pick up his deer meat. It was so peaceful driving, just the two of us. It's amazing once you stop and really take in the scenic drive. We really do live in a beautiful place. We talked the entire way up there...from everything to nothing. We had lunch at Olive Garden and started our way back home. I felt bad because I had a full belly and fell asleep the entire way home. We still had a great time. We got back from Deanna's volleyball banquet tonight and I think she is sad that her volleyball is over. The sad thing is...it doesn't have to be over...she has the talent to continue...I just wish she believed that like everyone else does.
I did receive a phone call yesterday from nurse Wendy regarding my white cell count being pretty low. That was from the blood draw I did last Friday. She was so pleased to hear that we had our busiest weekend and I felt the best over this weekend. Yeah for my body! I have a very strong body...it will carry me through this. Each night we pray that God keeps my body strong to work with the chemo not against it and for my mind to remain positive. We have such an amazing God.
As I continue to get emails from everyone I know and especially the ones I don't know, I am truly touched at the continued love and support. We can't thank you enough for you support. We hope to see you all on Saturday. I will be on chemo that day so with the crowd, don't be surprised to see me with a mask on for precaution. I've been handling treatments well and expect the same for this weekend.
We love you all!

Kim in the Arizona Republic

Kim was in the newspaper this weekend and it was a great story! http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2008/11/15/20081115wvcancer1115.html

And the round house kicks to cancer keep on coming! GO KIM!

DON'T FORGET THE BOWLING/SILENT AUCTION. This Saturday, details located on Kim's blog, just look below :)

"I know God will not give me anything I cannot handle. I just wish that he didn't trust me so much" ~Mother Teresa

LUV U KIM! HALL-AH!

Yesterday...WOW!!!

Yesterday started off very early...we are not early risers. Not one of us got a full nights sleep so waking up at 5:45am was not exactly a joy for Deron, the kids or myself. However, it was a very important day for me. Grumpy as can be, all four of us made it to the Colon Cancer Walk in Tempe. I had to take an anti nauseous pill once we got there from all the driving. Deron I love you but your driving was horrible that morning. lol It was pretty chilly when we started registration. I couldn't believe me eyes when I saw the first guy run by me at 7am wearing nothing but bright blue briefs....yes...briefs...not boxer briefs with a sweat band around his head! It was so neat to see every ones sense of humor about colon cancer. If you can think of any butt jokes...we probably saw them all. It was a little emotional for me to see so many people all there to support colon cancer....and to know that all of these people have been affected in some way from this disease. The highlight of my morning was when Robyn McDowell (one of my GCC coaches) found me in the massive crowd and gave me the biggest Robyn hug she had...Robyn has the best hugs. We cried just a bit and I was off to walk the 1 mile portion of the race. Robyn and her very large family was walking the 3.25 mile walk. I felt honored to have Deron, my kids, my parents, my father-in-law and Kerri Jo (all the way from Oregon), Scott (brother) and his family, Scott's mother-in-law (who is also a breast cancer survivor- Yeah MeeMa!), Uncle Roy, Uncle Roy's friends, Aunt Karrie, Kristin, Daniel and my Aunt Callie all there to support me and the many other Colon Cancer families. Cher has a few pictures I'll have her post our group photo from the walk. She also has one I saw with Deron holding one hand and my brother on the other side of me holding my other hand as we walked and talked. Thank you Cher for taking those pictures. The walk ended and I felt really good. We headed home to take a nap for the evening event while the rest of the group went on the eat some where.

The evening event was the Gun's vs. Hoses Football game. The kids and I went down to the field and Deanna took Dylan and Kiki onto the field so Dylan could call the coin toss. He was so excited! There was so many people that attended the football game. The proceeds of last nights game went to our most recent fallen officer with Phoenix Police for his surviving young wife and child as well as a portion coming to my family. They spoke a bit about me and the blog which was very cool. The most amazing part of that night was after the game. The fire department did pull off the victory this year 13-12. It was a close game. Anyways, after the trophy was given to the fire department, I was called down onto the center of the field where everyone cheered for me. It got a bit emotional. Then out came the clippers. Deron lead his team in shaving his head for me since I will be bald with him very soon. What was so amazing was Paul Lovejoy (our dear friend from the Hoses team) started shaving Deron's head and them Deron shaved Paul's head. After that, the lines formed. Most everyone from the Police team and the Fire team all got down and shaved their heads for me. Men on the Fire team would get their heads shaved and then come an introduce themselves to me because we had never met. Men that have never met me never thought twice and shaved their heads in honor of my fight. I was so touched. So much of my family was there and they couldn't believe what they were seeing...it was so awesome! I know Susan Mercy has a picture of the ending result with me in the middle of all these bald men. I can't express correctly my gratitude to everyone last night...Chad Waltz especially for putting on the entire event. Thank you Chad! After the shaving and before the final picture, my childhood friend Vinny led our massive group of police and fire families in a wonderful prayer. I love to be in his prayers...his message is so uplifting. Thank you Vinny. Anytime you want to pray come on over. I will get a few of these picture up soon. That is when I can get them to Cher who knows how to upload these photos.
After the game the Doyle's were kind enough to have everyone over for an after party. I just had to go. Jeff and Susan were kind enough to bring me home at midnight. I was pretty tired...all that water I drank at the party was really hitting me at that point. lol Deron stayed for just a bit longer to hang out with all the guys. I have to say that the City of Goodyear has the best public safety group out there. What other City does the Police and Fire Departments have such an awesome relationship. Deron and I are so grateful for all of you.
We are now off to a movie birthday party for Kiki. It's nice because the whole family can join. We are seeing Madagascar 2. I know you are jealous!
Much love,

Kim

The Kansas Miller's Say Hi!

Hello Kim! The Kansas Miller's wanted to drop a line and let you know we are thinking about you and praying for you each and every day. Your attitude is amazing and it is truly inspiring to read your updates on the blog. We love you all very much and will be checking the site daily to hear how you are kicking this thing in the butt!


Hope does not take away your problems. It can lift you above them.
- Maya Angelou

The past two days have been good. My new hair do is staying put...kind of. To be honest, I haven't brushed it much. Each time I do I lose more hair. When I get a bit closer to just shaving my head, I think we will make it a family event...Daddy shave one part, Dylan shaving another, and Kiki another. I think making it a family event will be more fun and easier for the kids. Actually, it will be easier on me to have the kids a part of this step. I'm sure they will be fine.

Today I was blessed to have a gentleman named Jonathon Cooper from the AZ Republic come to my home to interview Deron and I so he could write a story in this Saturday's Southwest paper. Today also happens to be our 8 year Anniversary. It is also my brother and Cher's 4th Anniversary. Jonathon was so pleasant and easy to talk with. It was also therapeutic for me to think back on how it started, the days in the hospital, the times with friends and my amazing family. It was good to even talk about how Dr. Rodriquez talked with Deron before the colonoscopy about his belief of me having colon cancer...then Deron breaking the news to me. It was neat to talk about what a role model my mom is for me. She knows first hand how important your belief in God is and how a positive mental attitude plays such a huge role in healing. These two aspects should always be the driving force of everyday regardless if you are fighting for your life or not. It's a shame it takes something like this to make us remember. I thank our Lord everyday for bringing me back to him as well as everyone of my friends and family. This experience has already brought so much good to my life as well as my family's. It is so neat to see comments from people I haven't had the opportunity to meet yet that say I've inspired them. That is the best feeling. I'm really excited for the Colon Cancer Walk this Saturday morning and then the Guns vs. Hoses football game that night. It will be a long day but so worth it. I hope to see you all there for the game. It should be a blast watching the flag football game that always turns out to have a few tackles in it. Goodnight! Don't forget to thank God for all the things he does for you everyday.
Love you all!!

Forest Lakes Cabin

Look at this beautiful cabin in Forest Lakes that our cousins donated for the family to stay in over Thanksgiving weekend!! We are really looking forward to being together for this weekend in this awesome place. We plan on just kicking back and enjoying each others company and going fishing. I can't wait to go fishing and I'm sure the kids will totally enjoy that!!

We are truly blessed by the kindness and generosity of others....thanks sooooo much Connie and Carol!!!!

Aunt Kathy

Family Pictures

Kim's friend Natalie took these great pictures of the family last week. Isn't this an awesome picture of Kim!!

The whole family in this shot!! Mayberry's, Jessen's, Callahan's, Neumayr's, Milstead's, Gwaltney's and Miller's. We are all so blessed that we all live so close together and get to see each other so often.

The Gwaltney/Miller Family we love soooo much!!

Cousin Kristin gave this Angel Wings Necklace to Kim....we know the Angels are surrounding Kim and she feels their presence every day!!! I think one of them left her Wings for Kim!!!!!

Kim You Totally ROCK!!!!!!

I echo all of Kristin's comments below!!! I can't tell you how impressed I am with how you are handling all of this and how you are able to articulate how you are feeling through this blog. Your strength and positive attitude is an inspiration to all of us. You and your Mom have this attitude thing figured out and are able to inspire others with your positive can do spirit. Like they told you last Friday at Mayo, you will have down days and that is normal, but I know you will have more good days than bad days because of your great attitude and willingness to put everything in God's hands. As we have said over and over the past few weeks, he never gives us more than we can handle.
I love you more than words can adequately express,
Aunt Kathy

Rockin Dah Short Hair Sistah!

Just think of all the cute hair styles you will be able to have once your hair grows back! And most important, think of all the places you will no longer have to shave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's all the reason to get chemo :) No more shaving!

Just want to let everyone know that during Kim's Doctors appointment last Friday, Kim was talking to the Social Worker-Elizabeth.....Kim told Elizabeth that she feels that she is ment to do something with this diagnosis of Cancer but she is not sure what?

-You are doing it Kim, you are taking this Cancer on! You are inspiring your family and friends everday. You are making us all realize that each of us are given hardships......... and that we are ment to learn and grow from the hardships that we are delt. You are making all of us stop and take a moment to realize we are all so blessed. Your strength is inspiring!

Love Ya!

So after last nights emotional roller coaster, I asked Cher to come cut my hair. This is the new hair....for now! It's a matter of days until it's all gone but at least it won't be so bad. I never thought I would cut my hair this short but I kind of like it. I now know what hair style to work towards when it comes back it.

Sunday was an emotional night

Sunday started off different. When I woke up in the morning I felt nauseous. Most of the day I felt nauseous. I never thought I'd say "Thank goodness for drugs". I never did get sick, thank goodness. The home care nurse arrived just about 2 pm to unhook me. Round 2 is officially over. My Uncle Mitch, Aunt Lisa, Justin, Jake and Jesse came to see me. Melissa was kind enough to bring us a yummy dinner. However, tonight has been quite an emotional night for me. I read a book to the kids titled "When Someone You Love Has Cancer A Guide to Help Kids Cope". It really broke down the body from having cells you can't see that make up tissues that make up organs, and when some of those cells get sick they join together and that's what cancer is. It went into not being afraid to ask questions, to scary words aren't always so scary like biopsy, chemotherapy (we touched base on mommy's medicine), to it's not your fault, to it's okay to be afraid, happy, sad or even mad. It also went into how people change...they may get thinner, they may not be able to do all the physical things with you right now, THEY MAY LOSE THEIR HAIR. I made sure to touch base on losing my hair with the kids. This is the topic I have feared the most. Dylan asked why I would lose my hair. I told him that the chemo (mommy's medicine) tends to make people lose their hair. We talked about when Nana lost her hair when she had to take chemo and how Nana has her hair back. I almost cried when Kiki said "It's okay mommy, when your hair falls out you can where your pretty wigs you got."
I knew it would happen...I've been trying to prepare for it...I never thought it would be so emotional. I went in to take a shower tonight and when I took my pony tail out, a lot of hair came with it. I called my mom into the bathroom, looked up at her and said "It's starting"...and I started to cry. The more I ran my fingers in my hair the more fell out and the harder I cried. I cry as I write this tonight as I am very sad to see my hair go but I know it's another step to my road to recovery. My fear is my kids...what will they think? How will they feel? Will it scare them? My mom called Deron at work and he rushed to be by my side. I was so afraid to get into the shower because I knew I would be washing away a lot of my hair...and I did. I still have hair on my head but my mom said it's a very short time and it will be gone. Deron has taken the night off to stay home with me while I'm so emotional. I've done really well with my 2 rounds of chemo that I kind of thought there might be hope for my hair. This is just a bit of reality that has taken me on an emotional roller coaster tonight. I'm now very tired from crying and I'm going to try and get a good nights sleep. I know the Lord is with me and he will get my family and I through this.
I love you all!

Hall-ah!

Kim was a RockStar! @ her chemo appointment on Friday! As Daniel put it.... she is continuing to round house kick cancer to the curb! What What! Whew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love Ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Round 2 almost done!!

Friday morning started off with a meeting with our Oncologist. We had to set a few ground rules on the importance of having my Aunt Kathy and my cousin Kristin a part of our appointments. This experience is so overwhelming and I truly feel it is important to have more than Deron and I in for these meetings. Being emotional, I'm hearing things different from the way the doctor is meaning. Deron may interpret one way so having the four of us to make sure we are all on the same page is extremely important to me. Once we got that established which was emotional...and shouldn't have been...we discussed my expectations. Only the Lord can cure me of this disease. I'm fully aware of that. At this time there is no "medical" cure for colon cancer. There also is no "medical" cure for Lymphoma. Guess what, the Lord gave us a miracle! My mom has been cancer free for 7 1/2 years now. Medicine only goes so far...and then comes God. Am I expecting the same thing?...I'm sure praying really hard. I understand I'm stage 4...not only has the primary tumor spread from the colon region into my liver but also to the base of my lungs. I don't want statistics....I don't want to know the amount my liver is affected. I want the positives!! I had the choice of one chemo over another so I would not lose my hair. At this point...my hair will grow back. I want the most aggressive chemo for this cancer. I will fight just as hard if not harder as the chemo fights. With every ones prayers and positive energy...we will get through this! I know it won't be easy. I tend to do things the hard way in life as it is. I have way too much to live for. Have you seen the picture of my family? They are everything to me. We have so many things to accomplish over the next 50+ years. Soon we will have more pictures up of my entire family that we just took a week ago. Thank you Natty for doing that for us all.
Anyways, back to Friday...Chemo started pretty good. They gave me a bed vs. a reclining chair since I was so tired. That was the earliest I'd been up in days. We had our own private room, flat panel TV, two chairs for Deron and Kristin. However, Kristin ended up laying in bed with me half of the afternoon. I wish we had a camera. Deron pulled his hooded sweater up and cinched down so you could barley see his face except for his nose and sunglasses. And there was Kristin and I spooned in my hospital bed together taking a nap. That's how my family rolls. I only got nauseous once. Slight upchuck but then I was fine. They happened to give me my big dose of benadryl right before the last portion of chemo in the hospital. Therefore, I felt so heavy and I just wanted to sleep. They wheeled me out in a wheel chair because I was so tired from the benadryl. I slept the entire way home and even after we got home. My Aunt Karrie, Uncle Mike, Kristin and husband Eli all came over, brought dinner, and hung out with us for quite some time. I have the best family ever. Aunt Karrie even gave Kyrstin a bath for me. My only incident last night was when I brushed my teeth. I told myself not to brush my tongue but I did out of habit and I lost my dinner. I was so mad at myself. Had I not brushed my tongue I would have not gotten sick. I felt just fine afterwards. Deron had his first night back at work last night in almost a month. He went in at 8pm but only made it to 3am. He normally would have stayed on duty until 6am had he not been up with me at 6:30am the morning before. Everyone at work wanted to meet up with him and ask him all these questions and talk about my situation. He so badly wanted to get back to work and be able to focus on something other than my illness for at least a few hours.
I woke up about 11:30 today for my morning bowl of raisin bran. I then fell asleep on the sofa for a bit. This afternoon my mom and I went to Old Navy for the major winter sale they were having "today only". I got the kids a new winter coat each, Deron a few new shirts, and myself a couple of $1 scarfs (I love sales), cool hats and a sweater. We saved so much money. That's the only way I can shop. I felt really good being out. No one really noticed my chemo pack I had under my sweater. It's not as bad as I thought. I sling it over my shoulder and wear it like that to bed as well. I don't want to wake up in the middle of the night and forget to grab the pack off my bed stand and it fall. That might hurt.
Tomorrow around 2pm my home care nurse will come to the house to unplug me. About 2:30 tomorrow afternoon, I want everyone to say a prayer for a very successful round 2 of treatment.
Deanna starts the first round of state on Wednesday at Millennium at 7pm. I will be there.
As of today, my hair has not started to fall out. When it does...I'm ready. I've got a few really cool hats and wigs to wear.

Thank you to everyone who is working so hard on fundraisers for my family for us to make it by with all these new expenses we are now taking on. There has been an over whelming response from everyone at my work, John Laing Homes, donating their sick time to me. As of right now I am maxed out with 3 months of sick time donated. We are checking to see if they might give me an exception to utilize all the time people are wanting to donate. Either way...I am so grateful to all of you who have donated to help me out. I'm really excited to see the turn out at the "Guns and Hoses" football game this coming Saturday night. If I'm not mistaken...the Colon Cancer walk is this Saturday morning. I love you all. And cheers to a great round 2!

Just a quick update...Nov. 5th, 2008

Thank you Aunt Kathy for informing everyone of my rectal bleeding. We are all much closer now. lol To be more informative about it...the bleeding is actually from my little friend, Mr. Hemorrhoid. However, with my chemo, it can cause bleeding which can be very serious. Therefore, they wanted me to come in right away to draw blood. The blood draw tells them so much....it's amazing. They measure a certain count that tells them whether or not I'm loosing blood at a rapid pace. With my main tumor being in my colon region, rectal bleeding is a huge concern. They can tell whether or not I'm able to fight off any infections (hence needing to stay away from people), what my clotting capabilities are like...the list goes on. The good news...my bleeding is not from the tumor and chemo...it's just my little friend.

On to a better subject....my chemo class. It was actually very informative. I knew a lot of the information from when my mom went through chemo. However, this was much more in depth, but still very general for all chemo's. We received a list of each drug that makes up my wonderful cocktails and the known side effects for each. I haven't really looked too much into each of those. I don't want to read something that says "You will have this side effect" because I don't want my mind to go in that direction and actually have that side effect. If it happens...we know what it stems from but I want to keep my tough mentality and let my mind be in control without any preconceived thoughts. That may sound crazy to some but that's me...a bit crazy. Deron is becoming the expert on the side effects so we are not too alarmed should anything happen. The two most important things they stressed today in class was to maintain a well balanced diet and hydration and to keep our lives as normal as possible. It is critical to maintain our normal lifestyle. If not...the "C" word consumes your life...instead of it being another hurdle to overcome. I've been told that before and it's nice to hear that from the Mayo nurses as well.

Another positive...at mine and Deron's request, my Aunt Kathy was able to get my pain medication dose reduced and a new prescription written for us OVER THE WEEKEND. I don't think there is anything Aunt Kathy can't get accomplished. The dose they had me on was knocking me out. I couldn't function on a daily basis. Every few hours I would fall asleep...no matter where we were or if I was in the middle of a conversation or not. It was horrible. Thank goodness all my visitors have understood and let me sleep and we finished our conversation as soon as I would wake up. Then we would all laugh about it. I started my new dose on Monday. Let me just tell you I feel like me again!!!!!!! I've been able to go to Deanna's games (YES...WITH MY MASK ON), I picked the kids up from school with Deron today (they were so excited to see me at school and so were some of the other parents and teachers we are friends with), and we went to the grocery store for dinner tonight. I'm actually feeling somewhat back to normal. I'm excited for chemo on Friday. My strength is so much better...actually my blood work yesterday showed my counts were up from last week.

Deanna had her senior night on Tuesday night and did awesome as always. It's hard to think that she is a senior and graduating early in December. She was this 8 year old little gymnast when I met her. She is now getting ready to graduate high school and enter this big world of responsibility. Hopefully things that each of us has taught her pays off in her future.

I'm hoping to get another update out this weekend while I'm on my 52 hour Chemo treatment. As always keep the prayers coming...OUR LORD IS GREAT!!!!!!!

Luv ya!

You're so AWESOME! You inspire me everyday to be strong!
Love you, Keek

Guns N Hoses to Benefit the Miller's

Come watch the Goodyear Fire Fighters take on the Goodyear Police Officers in the annual Guns N Hoses Flag Football Game!

Desert Edge High School
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Gates open at 5:30 p.m.
Game begins at 6:15 p.m.

The proceeds from the game are going to the family of Goodyear Police Sgt. Deron Miller. Sgt. Miller's wife, Kim, was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer in October. So come on out, enjoy the game, and show your support for a wonderful, young woman!

Kim is on her way home from Mayo Clinic.....

I know many of you are concerned that Kim has spent the day at the Mayo Clinic today for rectal bleeding. I just heard from Nan and they are on their way home. Kim's blood count is fine and there is nothing to worry about with this bleeding at this time. Mayo is keeping close tabs on Kim and we are very pleased with the care and concern they provided today.
Regards,
Aunt Kathy

Kim's Fundraiser

I feel so blessed!

I'm feeling like the luckiest girl around. Through tough times in life you tend to find how many friends you really have. This is by far the toughest challenge I've been faced with. I'm not sure why...I don't even ask why. All I know is this will challenge me more than anything has ever challenged me and I'm ready to fight. I have been reading all these emails going back and forth between my family and friends to coordinate this upcoming fundraiser for my family....I'm almost in tears. Between all the dinners to feed my family, helping with cleaning, laundry, etc...you have no idea how much this has helped us this past week. Many of you have been in my life for a few years now and have seen me quite a bit while so many others I grew up with and haven't seen in quite a few years. I could only hope that I have been as good of a friend to all of you as you all are being to me. I feel so blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life, especially through these trying times. There is no words for me to express my gratitude to you all...from everyone at my work (John Laing Homes), to the Police and Fire Depts., to childhood friends, college friends and my wonderful family. Just know how much this all means to me and my family.

This afternoon we have an appointment with the top radiologist in Arizona. We are uncertain if radiation is in my near future or not but we are gathering info. With one of my chemo meds, bleeding is a possible side effect, therefore, radiation may not be in my near future. However, we start round 2 of chemo on Friday. My chemo treatments actually last over 52 hours. Yep...that is a 52. My first 6+ hours will be at Mayo Clinic and then they will hook me up to a pump (not sure what to expect) that will slow drip for the following 46 hours. Sunday evening, round 2 will be completed!!!!! I'm excited. Chemo is my friend. I know that sounds crazy but it will help me beat this beast. I did awesome with round 1 and will do the same with round 2. I do my visualization each night after my prayers. I am taking one day at a time. If I think too far into the future, I get overwhelmed with everything that I think "needs" to get done. We are learning to make our lists of things to get done and accomplish them when we can.

It's time to get ready now. I'll be back in a few days to update. Wednesday, we have a "Chemo class". Not sure what to expect but I'll let you know how it goes.

We love you all so much.

Kim