Last night was a good night as Deron and I opened up with each other with our struggles. He is very overwhelmed with his soul mate having the battle of her life and he can do nothing about it, maintaining his career, our household, etc. He has so much more on his plate right now including all new emotional stresses that he is not used to dealing with. We cope with our stresses and daily battles so differently. I'm one that become needy. I just want him around me to hold me, take me on errands, what ever it may be...I just want to be there with him. Deron on the other hand being dealt so much needs to get away some times just for a bit to clear his mind. It's hard for me not to take it personal. We are actually going to get with a counselor who knows how to help families cope with the stresses of cancer, marriage and young children. We are both excited to learn how to cope together as one instead of two.
We did get some really good new today at our doctor's appointment before chemo started. My CEA counts are measured before each chemo treatment which is a cancer marker. When we first started my CEA counts were 19.1, which is really high. As of today my CEA count is down to 8.5 which is AWESOME!!! That tells them (without doing scans right now) that my body is responding to treatment very well. Also, we had a pet scan done almost two weeks ago as a base line to measure against for further treatments. I did not want to know the results unless things were drastically different from the other scans we previously had done. However, Deron wanted the results. The one thing our doctor did share with me before I left the room was that my spots in the lungs did NOT show up bright like they should have had it been highly active cancer. This does not confirm that my lungs are clear but it is a good sign. It could also be scar tissue showing up in my lungs from maybe having Cocci at some point in my life. Regardless...my chemo treatment would NOT be changed. We will continue has planned. All your prayers and positive energy is working!!! Keep it coming! I still play Pac Man in my head a few times a day. Not sure if I shared my Pac Man game with you all or not. A few times a day I do my relaxation and let Pac Man go. He starts in my right lung and clears all sick cells away until it's clean, then moves to my left lung. After that, he moves to my liver and completely clears my liver. When he' s done there, he moves down into the colon area and clears out the colon. When Pac Man is done...my body is cancer free. This is just another one of my positive mental things I do with myself. Whatever works...right??
We changed my chemo just a bit on what drugs come first. We asked for the high dose of benadryl to be given first with it's drug so I would sleep most of the time while I was there vs. being so doped up at the end and sleeping the way home and when I get home. It worked. I'm doing really good today. I'm still very drowsy but it's almost bedtime. My cousin Kristen came to Chemo today and brought me home so Deron could get some sleep before working all night tonight. Kristen is staying with me tonight so I don't have to be alone while my mom and dad have the kids. They were very rowdy when I got home. All I did was look up at my mom and she knew I could not handle the rowdiness right then. I love my family. They are so great.
Tomorrow is going to be an exciting day at the Bowl-A-Thon. I'm so excited to see everyone there having fun. I'll see you all around 11ish. Thank you to everyone for your continued support.